Tuesday, April 7, 2015

See You Again

Fell in love with this song after watching Fast & Furious 7.

Till " I see you again."

Tuesday, February 10, 2015


Happy Birthday.

Sunday, November 23, 2014

All of ME

‘Cause all of me
Loves all of you
Love your curves and all your edges
All your perfect imperfections
I accept you for who you are and love every piece of you with all of my heart.
Give your all to me
I’ll give my all to you
You’re my end and my beginning
Even when I lose I’m winning
‘Cause I give you all of me
And you give me all of you, oh

Monday, October 20, 2014

A Year Without You.

Well. First of all Happy 1st year being alone! Alright not exactly 1 year maybe 2 years of separation from the day I initial for time out. Truth to be told, I cheated on Z and I'm not a good and honest partner. I lied and I made mistakes.

And since than, I learned my mistake and changed. Forgiveness doesn't matter anymore.

As cliche as it may sound. I still love Z, but I don't feel in love with him at that period. Truth is I'm that kind of person when there's conflicts arise, I always (without fail) choose to avoid and run away. Be it in life, friendship, relationship.

I never like quarrel, neither I like to make people in my life to be upset, angry or disappointed. Hence I tried to please everyone, as much as they are happy somehow or rather I will tell myself I will be happy. Than things happen, and I was told in my face that I wasn't actually happy after all. I'm just portraying a figure to be well-liked and tried to fit in or get acceptance by others.

Come to think about it, this 1 year have been struggle yet fulfilling. I don't deny the initial first stage of depression was hard and torture. Remembering every sleepless night for 3 months and withdraw myself from the crowd and friends. Thankfully my friend brought me to the doctor and get medication to cure the pain. I would not encourage anyone or recommend people to start taking sleeping pills. For that just 3 months of intake, I can feel the side effect kicking in, which is decline of memory. =(

Moving on, I hang out a lot with my friends, and when I say a lot it literally mean ALOT. I kept myself busy everyday by hanging out with different people, took up swimming lesson, going to the gym, running every week and took up Korean Language class.

Some days I would secretly look up at Z Instagram and tell myself there's a slight 0.000001 chance we might back together. Maybe not now but in future.

As day goes by, I finally understand the last few words Z told me.

"When there's no trust, there's no love"

Well I agree. And ever since than, I cherish every single person who trusted me as well as not telling lies. And to be honest, I tried to date. Date someone to move on from the past relationship. Oh well you can see it didn't turn out well. Hahaha! But still I'm glad I'm much stronger now, and wiser.

Adding on, just a few days before this post, my mum mention that Z found a new partner that he posted on Facebook. Funny thing is I don't get to know from my friends or a 3rd party but from my mum! Hahah! Awkward.

No doubt, I'm a little affected after seeing his profile with his new partner. However, I'm happy for him. Happy that he had moved on and found someone new, someone who will cherish him, someone who will love him wholehearted than me. Someone would understand and be there for him. Someone who will walk down the aisle with him. May he be blessed with happiness and love.

And to me, I will continue to search for that some one, who will accept me for who I am and love me the way I will love him. He might not be my first love, neither doing any activities together as first but I know he will be my last guy I dated.  =)

PS/ Don't give up on faith.

Goodbye, Thank you for the memories.

till then,